i'm having another one of those nights. the one with a strong sense that God still wants to speak, to say something to me. before i sleep. during such nights, i find it hard to sleep.
i had a full month last september. i believe the rest of the world did too. especially financial establishments. especially america. lately, it just gets harder to pause and really hear.
i've been having hectic days lately. but our hectic schedules doesn't lessen the fact that God wants to speak. thus i'm having another one of those days when i feel like God is slowing me down so i can catch up. catch up with what he has to say. without being interrupted - by the alarm clock ringing, or the car horn honking, or some people's nagging. it's almost 2am. it seems like i've had God wait for me for days. my heart is somewhere between lost and secure. God is faithful - this is the reason why i'm secure. I haven't been that faithful - the reason why i'm a bit lost.
i'm really sleepy. but my heart is awake. God wants to speak. God, help me listen.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008
overtaken
Ever opened a can or soda that has been previously shaken? After you snap open the metal lid, instantly carbonated drink foams out of the hole. it overflows unstoppably, soaking your hand and puddling the floor.
Perhaps such is the picture of kairos, all of a sudden, you hit the right button or step into the appointed day. The promises you’ve been pondering in your heart, with one wave of your hand, keeps on landing on your lap like waterfalls. After a long wait, and after you thought that patience will forever be a character that God will be training in you, you hear a knock, the door opens and wala, destiny sweeps you off your feet. In one flash, the cloudy view is transformed into a sky with a myriad of shooting stars. You never imagined it in your daydreams to be as good as this. Could this be kairos? If it is, then it most certainly worth the active waiting.
“I will stand at my watch
and station myself on the ramparts;
I will look to see what he will say to me...” ~ Habakkuk 2:1
(entry from september 3, 2008 during my 40-day "offline-from-multiply-facebook-ym season")
Perhaps such is the picture of kairos, all of a sudden, you hit the right button or step into the appointed day. The promises you’ve been pondering in your heart, with one wave of your hand, keeps on landing on your lap like waterfalls. After a long wait, and after you thought that patience will forever be a character that God will be training in you, you hear a knock, the door opens and wala, destiny sweeps you off your feet. In one flash, the cloudy view is transformed into a sky with a myriad of shooting stars. You never imagined it in your daydreams to be as good as this. Could this be kairos? If it is, then it most certainly worth the active waiting.
“I will stand at my watch
and station myself on the ramparts;
I will look to see what he will say to me...” ~ Habakkuk 2:1
(entry from september 3, 2008 during my 40-day "offline-from-multiply-facebook-ym season")
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Wait.
A couple of months ago, during a time when I was continuously seeking God’s direction for my career, I had an impression that God was leading me to work as a freelance writer. There had been a series of events that led me to confirm this impression and so I started looking for freelance opportunities. To my disappointment, not a single door opened. There were false alarms though, possibilities that never materialized.
Months later, I got hired in my first freelance writing job. It was unlike other freelance jobs because as “freelance employees,” we were somewhat assured of a regular flow of projects. This came during a season when all my other prayers were also being answered. I must say, the timing was quite good since there were a lot of responsibilities and new things that had been given me during the past months and if this opportunity had come during those times, it would have been an unhealthy distraction from the more important things. I must mention that I have just started working in a part time job last month and it was just a few weeks into that part time job that the freelance opportunity came.
My first month in my part time stint is not without my usual adjustment stress (adjustment period for me usually lasts 2-3 months). Now that I am becoming more or less adjusted, I feel that soon I will be ready to start working freelance... and this is exactly the timing that God allowed. I am simply amazed at how he had time-lined everything so perfectly. My past months were spent seeking God, establishing a group of volunteer writers for our kp website, and traveling to JREV events abroad. It had been a fully packed season. And yeah, when we’re waiting for answers to prayers, sometimes we get pissed by the delay or lose faith that the fulfillment will ever come, not realizing that the reason for the delay is that the season is not yet ripe. It simply is not time. But God is not trying to deprive us of blessings! He’s simply planned out everything to transpire with precise and wise timing. And this was exactly what He did for me.
It was not until recently though that I realized that God’s word for me then was “wait.” It was not until I got the answer. It was a pleasant surprise though. And a lesson for me that during times when I’ve lost hope in the possibility of a desire in my heart being granted, God only eagerly waits for the right moment when He can finally give it to me, knowing that we He does, I will suddenly realize that He was also waiting for the right time all along. And He is heartily pleased to watch me pleasantly surprised.
Months later, I got hired in my first freelance writing job. It was unlike other freelance jobs because as “freelance employees,” we were somewhat assured of a regular flow of projects. This came during a season when all my other prayers were also being answered. I must say, the timing was quite good since there were a lot of responsibilities and new things that had been given me during the past months and if this opportunity had come during those times, it would have been an unhealthy distraction from the more important things. I must mention that I have just started working in a part time job last month and it was just a few weeks into that part time job that the freelance opportunity came.
My first month in my part time stint is not without my usual adjustment stress (adjustment period for me usually lasts 2-3 months). Now that I am becoming more or less adjusted, I feel that soon I will be ready to start working freelance... and this is exactly the timing that God allowed. I am simply amazed at how he had time-lined everything so perfectly. My past months were spent seeking God, establishing a group of volunteer writers for our kp website, and traveling to JREV events abroad. It had been a fully packed season. And yeah, when we’re waiting for answers to prayers, sometimes we get pissed by the delay or lose faith that the fulfillment will ever come, not realizing that the reason for the delay is that the season is not yet ripe. It simply is not time. But God is not trying to deprive us of blessings! He’s simply planned out everything to transpire with precise and wise timing. And this was exactly what He did for me.
It was not until recently though that I realized that God’s word for me then was “wait.” It was not until I got the answer. It was a pleasant surprise though. And a lesson for me that during times when I’ve lost hope in the possibility of a desire in my heart being granted, God only eagerly waits for the right moment when He can finally give it to me, knowing that we He does, I will suddenly realize that He was also waiting for the right time all along. And He is heartily pleased to watch me pleasantly surprised.
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