on accountability and transparency

(unedited)

one of my younger sis opened up to me a few days ago. i had been wanting to ask her something related to what she opened up to me. but there doesn't seem to be good enough reason to ask her so i just kept things to myself. but when she shared to me what has been happening, i realized a lot of things. suddenly, light was shed on many matters. what used to be blurry became crystal clear. and it had become easier to make right choices and actions (or inactions) since i already have hard facts to base my decisions on. i also realized how i had gotten carried away by my emotions and false assumptions. with the truth in hand, my perception had become more accurate and my steps stronger in resolve and purpose.

i also realized another thing. this could not have been achieved had my friend not submitted her situation to me in humble honesty. often times we avoid confrontation or confessions because we are afraid of being exposed. we don't want to become vulnerable. and we don't want to be judged. but when we open up to the right person/people in the right atmosphere of humility and uprightness of heart, we are actually strengthened (and not weakened) in the process.

after my friend told me her story, i shared to her a bit of mine. and i believe that had she know what i had also been going through, it would have been easier for her to understand what she was going through. (forgive me for all the vagueness and lack of specific detail... i have to ask for my friend's permission first if i can disclose the details...) it had become a real eye opener!

i think and therefore conclude that this is just one of the benefits of transparency and accountability. it opens our eyes. we are exposed to truths we could not have discovered on our own. we are given the opportunity to see through another person's lenses. and in the process, we are released from unnecessary burdens. because the truth indeed sets free. likewise, confessing the truth gives us freedom.

The Relentless Prince and Despicable Maiden

There was once and until now, a dashing young man, a prince, son of the King, the only King in the only empire, and he fell in love with a young girl. But the girl was not a lady. She was not of noble birth, nor was she of noble character. She was not from a respectable family, nor was she respectable herself.

It grieves me to tell her whole story so I will just say enough to cast a pale depiction of who she is compared to actuality. She ran after men as if they were medals to be won. She flaunted her filthy outfits that make her captivating to lustful eyes.

But the prince was completely her opposite. He desired to love and pursue only one for the rest of his life. They were an ill match, the whole Kingdom thought. But the prince saw something no one else saw! What was it?! Until now, I could not fully comprehend, and much more try to explain! We have to ask the prince himself!

But for now, let me finish their story.

No one would let her in the palace. Many a marketplace has banned her from entering. Thus, she resides in dark places where no one would send her away. And that is where the prince must go in order to pursue her. She cannot meet him where he is! He must come to her. And so he did.

I think I saw a painting vaguely portraying how the prince left his palace and searched for her in the dingiest alley. Soiling his white robe and shiny hair, he came to woo her. You must be wondering now how our young lass must have felt.

To help you better understand and visualize, imagine you were her. How would you react? Would you say, "Crazy prince!" Or would you say "Yes" right away? But even if you say yes, how would you feel walking beside a man as noble as he? After you have been washed in royal bath and dressed in finest garments, do you think you would feel clean already?

But who would not fall in love with our prince? And fell in love she did. But after staring into his eyes for what seemed like her whole life flashing before her, she ran away.

She has soiled herself deeper than could ever be cleansed. She will never be worthy of the one she loves. Now she must face the rest of her life in regret and despair. She must run away from love though it has found her.

And this is the part where the piece of paper containing our story, had been ripped apart. The rest of the story, no one could find. But a journal was found somewhere and was thought to belong to our prince. An entry in the journal reveals to us a bit of what was in his mind:

I know that this will not be easy. I know that you might just run away. But today, as I leave my palace, I am certain that I am doing the one and only right thing. You are a princess yet you do not know it yet. I know your heart desires to be pure but life has entangled you in lies and curses. Inside I know you are fighting. Though outwardly your actions speak otherwise. I know you. And I am coming to restore what life has stripped away from you. I am ready to fight for that place in your heart. I will take over, if only you will say yes to me.

But first, I must give up what I have. I must lay down my crown and surrender my reputation. I will lose the love of men and women I dearly love. But this is the only way for you to be restored. No one else can restore you. But I can. If only you will believe. After I give up everything, I know I will still not be assured of your yes. Even then, I am willing to take the risk. Even if you say no, it gives me peace to know that I have done everything I can to give you even just a chance to say yes... a chance to find new life. I am risking everything just for a chance to bring you home.

A letter addressed to our young girl was found in her house. It was believed that she read it and suddenly ran away. No one knew where to. Half of us believe that she hated herself so much that she ran away from her prince and from redemption. While half of us believe that she ran straight to the river to meet her prince. This was what the letter said:

Come quick, come hither to the Psalmists River, fifty-one mountains away and seven days from today. And when you get there, say this prayer, "Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow." and you shall be made brand new. ~ Psalm 51:7

Christmas and our Foolish Hearts

"What fault did your fathers find in me,
that they strayed so far from me?
They followed worthless idols
and became worthless themselves." - Jeremiah 2:5

Jeremiah 2 starts with God recalling the devotion of Israel to Him. He described her as, "a bride you loved me and followed me through the desert, through a land not sown." Israel, for a time, loved God despite. It was not as if she only loved Him during a time of abundance. She had loved Him as He is. Even through the desert of dryness and hardship. But what is it about Israel that makes her often forsake the God of has forsaken much for her? Is there something wrong with God? How can the epitome of perfection, love and beauty deserve to lose the eyes of a nation little less worthy of His relentless affections?

I am like Israel and inasmuch as I run away from God many times, I also find myself cringing inside as I internalize this very question that grips the heart of my beloved Savior, "What fault did you find in me?" What fault is there in Him? Oh, what fault is there in my God that I had set him aside so many times... What response can I give to such a question? And what explanation can I give for such foolishness on my part?

And yes, our running away is not only a reflection of foolishness. It is a manifestation of blindness and pride:

"Has a nation ever changed its gods?
(Yet they are not gods at all.)
But my people have exchanged their [d] Glory
for worthless idols" - Jeremiah 2:11

Do we actually think the fulfillment our desires can be found in 'these'? And 'these' can range from the subtlest amoral hobbies to the most sinful addictions. Even the good things in life, we have tuned into gods, thinking we will find glory or fulfillment in them. Thinking we can create or re-create things or accomplishments that are more important that the God-Lover who destroys all our adversaries with a wave of his hand.

"What can I do with you... Your love is like the morning mist,
like the early dew that disappears." - Hosea 6:4

And this is us. And this is me, wavering in my love. "Who am I that You care to know my name?" the Psalmist would say. But my God is constant in His reply, "though you are unfaithful, Israel, I am faithful..."

And this must be, one of the endless reasons why we celebrate Emmanuel. "God with us," is "God with us despite." Despite my worst me and your worst you, He came. Because he wanted to have that chance to woo us, and perhaps turn our quickly disappearing love, into something that a miracle can. And miracles were exactly what Jesus did here on earth.

May you have your own special miracle(s) this Christmas!

Love you all. :)

Riz