I will waste my life

i am in a really really important season in my life. i hear the Lord's call to pursue the 24-7 house of prayer stronger than ever. it has been quite a pain explaining the burden to those who understand very little the pain attached to carrying such a call. i think, it can be compared to a wife longing for her husband to come back. her husband who has been gone for as long as she can remember her days on earth ever began. or maybe the longing of a mother for her newborn child. or the child for his mother. it is a longing to cling and never let go. and it is as though every day that passes without it's being established here where we live, is another day of separation from a union that is really meant for the now.

i am not pushing for a "house" to be built today or anytime soon, or this year. all i am saying is that, please allow me to love God more by expressing freely this longing for his house of prayer to be built. let me be free to say, that if i only knew or have what it takes to "establish" it now, this very minute, that i will do. that is the kind of burden and intense desire that God is birthing in many others, i believe. until i heard God call me to this ministry, i have been longing day and night for something that i could not define or begin to describe. all i knew was i wanted God and i could not think of any other task that would satisfy me more than ministering worship and prayer in his very house. i could write for an hour or two. i can design or lay out for half a day. but there is only one occupation that i could imagine myself committing my time and life to, the ministry of 24-7 worship and intercession. from the time God spoke to me some 6 years ago, the word and desire has only intensified. everything else in my life points to this call and direction. everything is being invested for this ministry. even my days, i "waste" for the sake of a moment in his court. i simply know that this is the purpose for which i have been set apart and blessed with time in my hands.

this is a fearful thing to confess because i know that not many will comprehend. but there is a need to sound the call. let those who are called hear this sound and invitation. (we are all called to intimacy of course, but not all is called to the ministry of night and day prayer) there are those whom God has marked to spend their days in the house of prayer. some full time, others part time. definitely there will be those who are called to it as a lifetime vocation. those who are called to the paradox of wasting your life for God. the Bridegroom summons you to sing for his coming in lovesick worship and melodies. and He has placed such an intense longing in your spirit to summon others to the bridal call of the Church. rise up, lovesick worshipper, the King awaits the pleasure of hearing your abandoned worship.